In a recent show Ramsay visited Le Bistro in Lighthouse Point, FL.  Chef Andy Trousdale was killing [...]]]> In the Fox tv show Kitchen Nightmares Chef Gordon Ramsay visits restaurants in desperate need of his help because they are failing.  Ramsay visits awful, gross, unsuccessful restaurants to help them turn things around before it is too late.

In a recent show Ramsay visited Le Bistro in Lighthouse Point, FL.  Chef Andy Trousdale was killing the restaurant and he could not see it.  He surrounded himself with people (including his wife) who were afraid to tell him the truth — the reason that the restaurant was failing was HIS fault.  It was unbelievable!!  He could not change because he did not want to admit to himself that he was wrong, and the people closest to him did not tell him that he needed to change.

Do you ever feel that the people who are closest to you are the ones who resist the most as you try to change for the better? I think in the business world those are called “Yes Men.”  Sometimes, even when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members or others who are close to us will say that they support the change and then do everything they can to try and get us to change back to the way we were – even when the way we were wasn’t so great.

I wonder if there is someone out there in the world who will get in our faces if we are messing up and tell us like it is…..  At least in television it works,  when I look at Chef Ramsey — he is mean, he is abusive but he gets results, when I look at shows like The Biggest Loser– Bob and Jullian yell and scream at the constetants to work out and to not give up — the get at the heart of the problems these people are facing in their lives – and they get results.  Is that what we need to change?

I think yes, sometimes may need someone to get in our face and yell at us.  But also, I think that we need to take a deep look at ourselves.  We need to pray and come to a decision as to what our quest for personal growth is, and what kind of support we need. We can all support each other through the tough times and give each other encouragement and as we do we will begin to see results.

Yelling might work for some people, but for most of us, I think we need to support each other and love ourselves enough to make the decision that we are going to change our lives for the better.  But we can’t do it alone.  We need our friends and family to be honest with us and to support us.  However, the first pace we need to reach out for help when we want to make a positive change in our lives is to God.

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Here is the topic for this week:

Topic: Oprah has popularized the phrase, “Best Life” with a series of shows centered around so-called “experts” talking about how to have, “the best life”.    What is your definition of a “best life” and how do you think [...]]]> Please take the time to read through this post and make comments below.  

Here is the topic for this week:

Topic: Oprah has popularized the phrase, “Best Life” with a series of shows centered around so-called “experts” talking about how to have, “the best life”.    What is your definition of a “best life” and how do you think you are — or are not— fulfilling your conception of it?

I honestly don’t think I have ever seen the “Best Life” series with Oprah.  Maybe being one of only two men in this blog-off (and the other one came up with this topic) that might put me at a disadvantage…I don’t know.  But I do think about what an “ideal” life would be, so I will go off of that.  

I hate to admit it but the ELCA does have a model of wellness that I would like to achieve one day.  It is called a “Wholeness Wheel.”  There are six areas of wholeness that I believe anyone can achieve and if they do; I believe that they will be living a better life if not the “Best Life.”  

Everyone wants to be healthy.  People get healthy physically not only to look good but to feel good and live longer.  As we get older we start to see that bright light at the end of the tunnel and we want that tunnel to continually get longer not shorter.  

I would give myself a low grade on my Physical well-being at this point.  But I am making strides to get healthier and healthier everyday.  As I mentioned on this blog earlier I have lost over 30 pounds in the last year and I am working hard everyday to staying on track and lose more.  I hope to participate in a triathlon this September with the goal of at least finishing.  I hope by this time next year  I will be able to say that I am in much better physical condition.  

From the ELCA website

“Being emotionally well means feeling the full range of emotions and expressing those emotions appropriately.”

I think there are four ways that I maintain emotional well-being

1. Spend time with my family – I love my family more than anything else in the world.  When I come home from a good or bad day at work my kids come up to me and give me hugs and kisses and it makes even the worst day seem bright.  I love my wife and the more time I get to spend with her the better I feel.  She understands me like no-one else can.  I feel lucky to have a great family.
2. Working out-  I love the feeling after a good work out.  I find that when I am starting to feel stressed and overwhelmed I need to hit the gym and spend a little extra time working out.  It helps me relieve all the built-up stress inside of me.
3. Music -  I am a musician at heart.  I love to turn the radio up in my car and sing along.  I also love to play my guitar for hours on end.  Music gives me that creative release that nothing else can.
4. Friends — I have the greatest friends in the world.  When something is wrong in my life they are there for me and I can’t ever thank them enough.  One of the reasons why I love facebook so much is because I am able to connect with my friends even more.  I believe that my friends are the smartest people I know and I always seek advice from them.

From the ELCA website

Whether we are introverted or extroverted, regular social contact is essential for health. 

This is one area that I feel like my wife and I need to improve on.  I am very extroverted and she is very introverted so the way we view our social contacts is different.  Like I mentioned above I love facebook because I am able to relate to my friends on a daily basis.  One thing that is hard for my wife and myself is that most of our friends do not live in the same area as us – so facebook, email and phone calls are our best form of contact.  My wife and I are also new to the area (we have lived here only a year).  We came to CNY not knowing very many people at all and it is taking more time than I would like on meeting people our age that we are able to hang out with on a regular basis.  We continue to work on this and I know that things will turn around sooner or later.

Intellectual well-being

 I can say that I have never been the smartest person in my academic career.  I have never qualified myself as a scholar.  But I do hold a bachelors degree and a Master of Divinity degree.  I am very proud of my accomplishments because I have worked hard for them.  I do like to keep up with my reading and studying, I think it is very important to keep your mind working, otherwise I believe it will start to shut down.  I will always be a student and seek to learn more and more not only professionally but in other ways as well.

Vocational well-being

I never really understood why people are in jobs that they hate.  I have had only one job that I really hated in my life.  I worked there for about 14 days and quit and found something else that I enjoyed much more.  I need to be challenged where I work otherwise I am not satisfied.  I realize that jobs are sometimes hard to come by — however do what you love or you will never be happy.

I do love the job that I have right now. I believe my calling in life is to be a pastor.  I love hearing faith stories from people, I love being there for people during their celebrations and during their more difficult times in life.   I can’t imagine doing anything else in life and being this happy.

I believe that we need to be spiritually healthy as well.  I have friends and family members that do not have a realigous base in their life and I do actually question that decision.  I do not understand what happens when difficulties happen in their life who do they put their trust in that things will turn out okay?  I put my trust in the one who I believe created me and who loves me and who promises me that things will be okay.  When I am having a crappy day I know I can turn to God and pray.  

I will never forget when I was at Luther College, I was having a tough time personally.  I prayed with a friend, we prayed for my family we prayed that God would take all my problems and place them on His shoulders and I believe God did.  That night I cried for 45 min.  It was all the pain, hurt, anger and sadness coming out of me. I felt as though that burdens that I had been carrying for so long were lifted off of me and I felt free once again.  It was a good feeling.

I think of that time in my life when I believe that I am not as spiritually well off as I would like to be.  Right now I think I am at a good place because the last few months have been tough in some ways.  It is when times are tough that I start to fall away from my spiritual disciplines and it is then that I realize that I need them the most and I am able to turn back and pick things up again.

Financial well-being

I can honestly say that money is one of the biggest stresses in my life and the lives of the people I come across everyday.  90% of the debt that I carry is in student loans.  I can honestly say that I am disappointed in the way that seminaries are structured in that regard.  Pastors are generally in the top 25% in education but in the bottom 25% in pay (or something like that).  But that is another blog post for another day.  

We work hard at becoming more and more financially secure. I know it takes time and that is the hard part.  We are at a point right now in our lives where we want to feel secure financially.  It is important — and I know I have lots to learn when it comes to financial success.  I read blog posts daily and I use the YNAB system to help keep finances straight and I abide by the philosophies of YNAB to help us think differently about our money.  

Overall I believe that things are going okay right now in my “Best Life” – I believe that overall I have a pretty good wholeness wheel.  I don’t think it will ever be perfect but I believe that it is a good way to think about your life and how you can have a “Best Life.”

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I worked really hard and I am proud of the things I [...]]]> I have I have written before, I gathered six other clergy in my conference for a “Biggest Loser Clergy Edition.” Well on May 31st our journey together ended.  I am proud to say that I won the whole event.  I am very excited about this!!!

I worked really hard and I am proud of the things I have accomplished.  In the process I lost 23 pounds!

I started out on this journey weighing 386 pounds.  Through this experience with  I have gained the confidence that I have not had since I was in high school when it comes to my health and my physical ability.

To be honest I was really worried last May (2008) when I started having chronic back trouble and my weight was creeping close to 400 pounds.  Now I have regained the confidence that I once had.  I have confidence that I can continue to get healthy and I can push myself to live a better life.

Inspired by my success I really would like to pursue a dream that I have had for a few years.  That is to participate in a triathlon.  September 20th of this year there is a triathlon in our area called the Finger Lakes Triathlon.    They have a sprint triathlon which is a shorter route.  The events will be:  swim .45 miles bike 13 miles and run 3.1 miles.  I believe that if I can commit myself to train for that event like I committed myself to this program I will be able to do it.

The final totals for our journey together as a group:   We lost over 50 pounds and we met our goal of walking 436 miles.  I would like to thank all those people who followed me and supported me in my weight loss journey.  Now I would like to invite you to join me in my journey in becoming a triathlete!!

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I have been doing really well with my diet and exercise.  I have been drinking my Cinch Shakes for breakfast [...]]]> It has been a week and I have been doing real well on our challenge.  Everyone has lost at least one pound and I am excited for the support we are able to give to one another.

I have been doing really well with my diet and exercise.  I have been drinking my Cinch Shakes for breakfast and lunch.  I don’t know why but we got the strawberry and I actually like it a lot.  So far I have been making it to the gym 3 times a week.  I would like to go one more day a week and get some swimming in.

I got an email today from Beth Lewis from Augsburg Fortress and she is going to give us some rewards for the Biggest Loser

“This is a great idea.  Augsburg Fortress will be happy to award the people in your group (up to 10 participants) who work together to complete this “436 mile walk” with a copy of Richard Hasler’s book,Surprises Around the Bend:  50 Adventurous Walkers. You can see the description here– I would like to coordinate this through you for simplicity.  In addition, for the person who loses the most weight and wins the money and the Bishop’s preaching, we will also give a complete 7-volume set ofPeople’s History of Christianity, a gift worth $245. 

Is that good news or what?

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I have looked around and I have not seen any “Biggest Loser” type competitions.  For those who know me I [...]]]> I have come to admit to myself that I need to lose weight.  I think I am in a position in my life where I can really dedicate time and energy to do it, the right way.

I have looked around and I have not seen any “Biggest Loser” type competitions.  For those who know me I am very competitive, even at the simplest card game.  I don’t lose it or anything but I do enjoy winning.

One of my goals this year is to get healthy but I can’t do it alone.  I need something to motivate me — some sort of competition. Well I have a great opportunity to get together with some of the other clergy in the area (or even beyond the area) to ban together to lose weight and get healthy.   I think this would be fun and helpful for so many people!

So using an outline from a friend of mine (thanks Lindsey) created a document (and I borrowed her document) and I handed out at the last Conference meeting.  Each person participating puts in $25.00 and the “winner” gets the pot of money and loses a pot of belly.  The winner also has the opportunity to have the Bishop come and preach at their congregation (don’t worry she agreed).

We started today and we are going to go until our (Upstate NY) Synod Assembly in May.  If you want to participate let me know as soon as you can!

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Here’s how it works:

Enter the challenge between January 1, and March 31st, 2009. Web-based entry form found on this website for offical rules and information.

Use the Cinch Inch loss plan to lose weight and inches and get healthier!

Submit before and after photos (really good ones) along with your [...]]]> Shaklee is sponsoring the Cinch Biggest Loser Challenge!

Here’s how it works:

Enter the challenge between January 1, and March 31st, 2009. Web-based entry form found on this website for offical rules and information.

Use the Cinch Inch loss plan to lose weight and inches and get healthier!

Submit before and after photos (really good ones) along with your Cinch success story (with total weight and inches lost) by June 30, 2009.

The biggest losers will share in $100,000 cash award, with $25,000 going to the grand prize winner, $10,000 each to the next 5 Biggest Losers, and $5,000 each to the next 5 Biggest Losers. Stay tuned for launch of the new website and more details.

For more information on Shaklee’s Cinch Inch loss program, click here

______________________________

I am not eligible to participate in this event but I am willing to help anyone who wants to participate. I have personally made a commitment to lose weight with Cinch this upcoming year. Please let me know if you have any questions!

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This month I will be working on two things (one personal and one professional)

Personal — Exercise

Professional — Visitation

Exercise — I know that in the past the only way [...]]]> Not too long ago I posted 13 things that I would like to concentrate on in the next year. I am going to start in the month of December.

This month I will be working on two things (one personal and one professional)

Personal — Exercise

Professional — Visitation

Exercise — I know that in the past the only way for me to really get healthy is to exercise.  I can watch what I eat and drink plenty of water.  But for my body type I need to exercise.  I have never really been good about going to the gym.  However, recently my first call mentor and I have been meeting at the gym twice a week.  Like he says– it is easier to get up and get out of bed if you know someone is waiting for you at the gym and that is true.  The days that he has been out of town, I have had good intentions but I have yet to make it to the gym without him.

So I have been going -  but I need to look at our routine and evaluate it.  I want to make sure that I am not getting up at 5:30 am and meeting him for an hour and really waste my time.  Any exercise is better than no exercise, don’t get me wrong.  But I know that there are things that I could be doing which will maximize my time there.

Visitation – I know that especially this time of the year it is good to get out and make as many visits as possible.  But more than that, I want to set up a system for me to go out and visit people.  The church on the hill does not have too many members on the home bound list at this point.  I hope to find people that I could go see that are not on the list….but I want to make sure I have a regular schedule of visitation for those who are on the list.  As I find my way through this thing called ministry I want to make the most of my time while serving the needs of those in the church.  That is a balance act that I might never master but it doesn’t hurt to try!

As I go through these things I will give updates of my progress.  I will also give you some tips of the things that I have learned while I go through this process.  Any advice you might have for me, please feel free to leave in a comment below.

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I thought it was a cool thing to have and my intention was to really [...]]]> One of the most popular “hits” on my blog is my list of 100 things to do before I die. I am not sure if people get past that list and read other parts of my blog but it is popular.  

I thought it was a cool thing to have and my intention was to really work on it.  I wanted to really work on the things in that list and if not do them, have plans on doing them in the future.  But for the most part that list has sat idle since I posted it. 

I now have a new list…..since there are so many parts of my life – personally and professional that I would like to improve I have created a list of 13 aspects of my life that I would like to focus on.  Each item I will focus on for a month and my hope is to get it to a place where I can feel like I am maintaining that part of my life instead of trying to make a change (if change is necessary).  

I will post the list in this post and then I will create a new page and I hope that you check in from time to time to see how things are going.  I am also going to look at my list of 100 things I want to do before I die and I will update it and see if there are connections that I can make to other parts of my life. 

The List:

13 Personal things to work on

1.        Weight loss

2.       Exercise

3.       Personal Organization

4.       Family Contact

5.       Friend Contact

6.       Budget

7.       Savings

8.       Spiritual Life

9.       Work on my Novel

10.   Work on my Devotional book

11.   Play my guitar

12.   Learn more about cheese

13.   Dog Training

13 Professional Things to work on

1.        Youth group

2.       Sunday School

3.       Senior Ministry

4.       Inactive Members

5.       Evangelism

6.       Community out reach

7.       Worship

8.       Read Two theology books

9.       Plan Grilled Cheese event

10.   Committee Organization

11.   Visioning

12.   Visitation

13.   Future planning

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