Lutheran Grilled Cheese » Fatherhood

I Miss My Kids

Joe — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:16:26 +0000

Our family just ended a week’s vacation. My wife and I saw it as a vacation not only from work and from home but from our kids as well. This was the first time in our six years of marriage that we did not have at least one kid with us for more than one overnight. My parents took our two kids and two of my brother’s three kids (my youngest brother is there as well) to Camp Calumet for the week.

So my wife and I enjoyed some down time in Vermont.

Monday we celebrated our six year anniversary with dinner at Table 24 and we saw the movie Inception (which was awesome by the way). Tuesday we went to Burlington, Vermont and had lunch at Al’s French Frys and took a walk up and down Church Street. Wednesday we took a tour of the Ben and Jerry’s Factory, and Cabot Cheese Farm. Thursday we hung around the house and started to prepare ourselves for our trip home, we took a tour of the Wilson Castle and awaited our kids arrival home. Friday (today) we are headed back to our home.

It is great when you can go out with your wife and see sites like this:

It has been wonderful to reconnect with my wife — kidless. We have talked about a lot of things that we usually don’t get to talk about because usually we are dealing with one thing or another with our kids. Another reason we don’t have “adult” conversations is because we are so consumed with day to day life that we don’t have time to talk with one another, or we forget what we have to say to one another because something comes up.

These conversations have been great. They also are going to lead to some major changes in our lives over the next six to eight months. I won’t go into detail about them now but I will blog about them soon.

Even though we have enjoyed our time together we missed our kids. We missed cuddling with them, we missed talking with them we missed how we experience what they are experiencing. We missed so much about them and we are glad that they are home with us again.

But it warms my heart to have parents who care about their grandchildren so much that they take them out into the woods to camp for a week. I was never really lucky enough to get to know my grandparents or my cousins that well because of I lived in Vermont and they lived in Pennsylvania. I am glad that my kids get to know their grandparents and cousins on trips like this. Thank you mom and dad.

Even though being a parent of two active kids can be tough at times– how could you not love faces like these:

If you would like to read about other dads out there, and the experiences they have with their kids check out www.dad-blogs.com

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Saturday Fun

Joe — Wed, 26 May 2010 11:46:27 +0000

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Swaggar Wagon

Joe — Wed, 19 May 2010 00:53:59 +0000

You think that driving a mini van is a drag?!?! You think that you will be so uncool sporting a mini van to pick up your kids from school?!?! We are looking at getting our second mini van sometime this summer. Am I looking forward to it? Not really…..but after watching the video below makes owning a mini van just a little cooler.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4

For those who want to sing along here are the words:

This one goes out to all you minivan families out there.
Sienna SE…in the house.
Where my mother/fathers at?
Where my kids at?

Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?

No, seriously honeywhere are the kids?
They’re right there, see?
Oh, cool beans.

[VERSE DAD]
I roll hard through the streets and the cul-de-sacs,
Proud parent of an honor roll student, Jack.
I got a swing in the front, a tree house in the back,
My #1 Dad mug says, Yeah, Im the Mack.

[VERSE MOM]
I’m the world’s best nurse when my kids get sick,
I make a mean gel-mold, I perfected my tricks,
Back when I used to party as a college chick.
Now I’m cruising to their playdates lookin’ all slick…

[CHROUS]
In my Swagger Wagon,
Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,
It’s the Swagger Wagon,
I got the pride in my ride.
In my Swagger Wagon,
Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,
It’s the Swagger Wagon.

[VERSE DAD]

Check it…

I love hangin’ with my daughter sippin’ tea, keep my pinky up,
All the drawings on my fridge sport an A+.
I’m an awesome parent, (Right!) and it’s apparent, (True!)
And in this house there’s no mother/father swearin’.

[VERSE MOM]
Straight owning bake sales with my cupcake skills,
I’m better with the money, so I handle the bills,
And I always buy in bulk, ain’t afraid of no spills.
Every Mother’s Day proves…I’m kind of a big deal.

Daughter: Mommy, I need to go potty.

Bring the beat back, ’cause, yo, I got more to say,
You know I’m always front and center at the school play.
I kiss their boo-boos, clean doggie doo-doos,
Cut the crust off of PB&Js, chill the Yoo-hoos.

[VERSE DAD]

Singin’ “Farmer in the Dell” in perfect harmony,
When I’m rollin’ with my posse in the HOV.
We rock the SE, not an SUV,
And it’s true, if I were you, I’d be jealous of me…

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Eagle Scouting

Joe — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 06:07:52 +0000

My son has been involved in Cub Pack 71 for awhile now. He absolutely loves being a cub scout. There are some kids in his pack from the church, so he sees familiar faces. He loves the projects that we do and he loves just being social with the other kids.

I must say I really enjoy being a dad of a cub scout. It really brings me back to my days as a cub and boy scout. I always worked really hard during my time in scouts. I earned a lot of badges and really pushed myself (with the help of my parents) to receive the rank of Eagle Scout.

I feel good about being an Eagle Scout because it is the highest rank that can be achieved by a Boy Scout. If there is one thing that I can keep with me throughout my entire life is the fact that I am an Eagle Scout. Don’t get me wrong all ranks in scouting require hard work to get there, however becoming an Eagle is exponentially harder because it is something that comes with time and dedication. I remember there was a senior scout in my troop who earned every badge that he needed to become Eagle. He did the work, all he had left was his Eagle project — he knew what he was going to do, but never took the time, or put in the effort to finish his project. Thinking back on that situation I wonder how he feels about it now. Granted only a small percentage (most reports claim 4-5%) of boys in scouting will achieve the rank of Eagle, but to come that close and not achieving it is probably the same feeling an Olympic athlete gets.

Throughout my life I have felt like I have embodied the Boy Scout law — to be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. As well as the Boy Scout Oath.

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

I hope that my son will abide by them during the course of his life as well. He is excited every time he earns a badge and he wants to keep up with it. I don’t see any problems with that now, but as he gets older and his interests varies I wonder what it will take to keep him interested in scouting.

I think my love for the outdoors, kept me interested as well as achieving the different ranks and the support of my parents as well as the scout leaders.

I look forward to remembering and reflecting and sharing my experiences in Boy Scouts as my son progresses through the ranks himself.

This post is part of the Fatherhood Friday group of blogging Fathers and Mothers over at Dad Blogs. Please click on the image below to find more great writing from other bloggers trying to make sense of this whole parenting thing.

I have found some great dad blogs check them out:

Clark Kent’s Lunchbox

Real Men Drive Minivans

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Germs and first call

papajoemc — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 03:22:29 +0000

I must say Germs suck — that’s right, they do. Especially when they come and attack a sweet innocent little girl. I have not been on the computer much lately because I have been spending time taking care of my family. My little girl (who turned 1 last Thursday) has been sick for awhile. First there have been ear infections…..she has had between 8-10 in the last 6 months. Needless to say she needs tubes. That surgery is coming March 5th. But beyond that she has had a couple of viruses that has made her miserable. She had a stomach bug which is bad enough (I was the brunt of most of the projections) – but she was getting dehydrated because she could not keep anything down. Thank God we did not have to go to the hospital for IVs or anything and she started to feel better. But once she started to feel better things got worse…….she suddenly got a fever that would not go away. This time we were sent to the hospital for a battery of tests- which all came back negative. The doctors said it was some kind of virus but they did not know what. After four days of the fever she got a rash. The good thing of the rash is that we finally found out why she had the fever. She had Roseola which is a virus that shows a fever followed by a rash. It is very contagious so like most of the sickness she has experienced this year, she most likely got it from the day care.

The really sad thing about being a parent is to watch your child suffer with some sort of sickness (or in anyway) and there is very little that you can do in order to help them. You wish they they can understand what is going on but she is so little and so sick that she has no idea. I am thankful that everything was gone by her birthday (February 14th) and she was healthy and happy for her birthday party on Saturday.

I have been struggling lately as well….I lost my voice around Christmas and I had to have tests done and I have been diagnosed with Reflux Laryngitis – it is manageable but I still get hoarse after talking a lot or singing, but in about 4-5 weeks I should be 100%.

That’s all the major stuff on the home front. “The boy” (my son) is doing well and he is going to be four years old later this month. I can’t believe he is already four years old. I know it sounds sappy but I still remember when he was born, and holding him for the first time. Now he is his own little man and he is doing his own thing. Tonight we prayed our bed time prayer with his Godmother. Even though he was being shy (he only prayed the “now I lay me…” prayer and not the Lord’s Prayer with her) I thought it was great. He was really excited to do it and to watch him interact with her over the phone was great. He was excited but shy– I could tell he was being shy because he had his hands in his mouth, dead give away. I hope it can be a regular thing and we can do it with his Godfather as well.

I am taking a Chataism class this semester and we are talking about the Ten Commandments, the Creeds and Lord’s Prayer. I have been thinking about them and how to connect them with my children. I think at this age he is just being familiar with what they are is good enough, but it is something I hope to explore in this class and in the years to come with my children.

I just finished watching “My Dad is Better Than Your Dad.” The premise of the show is for dad’s and their children compete in challenges both physical and mental to see which combo can outlast the rest. Like any reality show there is an element of “you stink” at the end. I don’t know if I like that aspect when it comes to children. It is one thing for adults to get in the mix and try and win money and make a fool of themselves, but when you drag children into it you can really harm them, by them thinking that it was their fault that they lost or that their dad is not good enough. What do you think?

_________________________________________________________

On Wednesday we will have the regional assignments for our first call. A Bishop representative from each of the nine regions, and a seminary are currently in Chicago talking about 200 and something candidates going into the first call process. They read about each candidate and pray for them and then decide which area they are going to send the candidates.

This Wednesday a phone call will come into the seminary from Chicago from our Seminary Representative. The community will have a worship service and then all the seniors will gather at the presidents house to find our regional assignment.

As someone awaiting their decision it is really nerve-racking. My wife and I hope that we are assigned to Region seven. On the one hand it would be flattering that another region would really want me to come to their synod, however I know what would be best for us and our family.

For Region Seven the bishops from each synod (Upstate New York, Metro-New York, New Jersey, Northeast Penn, Southeast Penn, and New England) personally interview each individual assigned to the region and then assign the go behind closed doors and fight for us to come to their synod. (Well I hope they would at least want me) I have let most people know that we would like to come to the New England Synod. That’s where our family is and most of our friends, so we would like to be close. We would like that support which we dearly miss. We especially miss it now because we are separated from our second home (the seminary) this year living in Souderton. But we have and continue to manage.

So that is what is going on with us recently, that’s only part of what our lives have been recently. It never ends….but we are in a very exciting time in our life, there are many possibilities that lay ahead of us and we are going to need lots of prayers and support the next few months as our future is played out in the hands of people who only know me by a piece of paper.

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Guess who's back….

papajoemc — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 13:42:40 +0000

I think all the writing I did from the end of December until January 2nd really took a toll on my ability to sit and actually blog. Between assignments due for school and stuff for my approval interview next week I was actually constantly writing over my whole vacation. Don’t worry I did have some fun

We had a great vacation. The first part was tricky with where we were going to stay and who we were going to see when, I guess that’s the trouble when you are dealing with divorced parents. I did get some time to have fun and some time to relax.

Now we are home and the reality of my class coming up hasn’t fully hit me yet. I have a class starting on the 21st. Now I was thinking that these next few weeks are going to be great. I am not going to have to do anything school wise and I can work some and play some and start actually cleaning out some rooms for our move (God only knows where) in May/June. However, I look up the class yesterday and I see that I need to read four books and write 2/ 600-word essays about two of the books that I read.

This class is a VERY intensive course. We meet for four days — three blocks a day for three hours each block. I don’t think it will be very exciting. Then by the middle of February we need to have a 15-page paper written. I do not want that paper to carry over into the next semester.

Today is Logan and Daddy day– this tradition started while I was on internship. To make sure I had quality time with my son I would keep him home from Day Care on my Days off. We would go swimming at the YMCA and then have pizza for lunch and then just hang out. Today we are playing video games, going to the library at the seminary and perhaps getting some pizza somewhere.

There is so much I want to talk about – Roger Clemens, the voting in Iowa, and maybe even a little NFL playoffs but Logan wants a new race car to play with on Need for Speed.

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What my son feels

papajoemc — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:31:23 +0000

My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing (Integration) Disorder. This is the best description of what someone with this disorder goes through.
Sensory Processing Disorders:
Through The Eyes Of Dysfunction
Have you ever wondered what children or adults with sensory processing disorders feel like, or have to deal with? I certainly have.
Now I would like to give you the opportunity to see SPD “through the eyes of dysfunction”. This can, in turn, lead to acceptance, understanding, and avoidance of blame and judgment.
Please open your hearts and minds to the struggles individuals with sensory processing disorders go through on a daily basis.
We can see the behavioral signs of distress with too much input, or the energy of not enough input. But, what does the child/adult REALLY go through while trying to take in and effectively process the bombardment of daily sensory input?
Stanley Greenspan, the author of “The Challenging Child” (1995) has an insightful analogy to help us understand what people experience when they can not effectively process, or interpret, sensory input.
He describes it this way:
“Imagine driving a car that isn’t working well. When you step on the gas the car sometimes lurches forward and sometimes doesn’t respond. When you blow the horn it sounds blaring. The brakes sometimes slow the car, but not always. The blinkers work occasionally, the steering is erratic, and the speedometer is inaccurate. You are engaged in a constant struggle to keep the car on the road, and it is difficult to concentrate on anything else.”
It’s NO WONDER children with sensory processing disorders feel out of control, exhibit a whole host of behaviors, and have difficulty concentrating and focusing at school!
Now, also imagine being a parent of one of these children. Many parents have expressed how exhausted, rejected, lost, incompetent and alone they feel in trying to live with, and understand, their child.
I challenge you to remember this beautifully painful quote the next time you encounter a child with sensory processing disorders and begin the process of awareness, understanding, and treatment to help them take control of their bodies, minds and self-esteem.
It is so very difficult for them. Let’s acknowledge that and do our best to understand and help them!
Let me put this another way for you, from an adult perspective.
I once did a presentation in a conference room full of adults that worked in day care and preschool settings. I wanted them to relate to and understand the children they saw in their classrooms that struggled with sensory processing disorders.
I explained it to them this way…
Imagine if:
You could see obstacles in your way, but you could not make your body move the direction you wanted it to avoid them.
You felt like someone had given you a shot of Novocain in your backside so you couldn’t feel if you were sitting in the middle of your chair and you fell off 3 times during this training.
Your clothes felt like they were made of fiberglass.
You tried to drink a cup of water from a paper cup, only you couldn’t tell how hard to squeeze it to hold onto it. So, you squeezed it too hard and the water spilled all over you. The next time you didn’t squeeze it hard enough and it fell right through your hands and onto the floor.
Every time you tried to write with your pencil, it broke because you pushed too hard.
The different smells in this room made you utterly nauseous.
The humming of the lights sounded louder than my voice.
You couldn’t focus your eyes on me because everything and everyone in the room catches your attention and your eyes just go there instead.
The lights are so bright you have to squint, and then you get a pounding headache half way through the presentation
Every time someone touches you, it feels like they are rubbing sandpaper on your skin.
You could only sit here for 15 minutes and then you had to take a run around the building or do 20 jumping jacks so you could sit for another 10 minutes before your muscles felt like they were going to jump out of your skin.
People’s whispers sounded like they were yelling.
The tag in the back of your shirt makes you feel as uncomfortable as you would if a spider was crawling on you and you couldn’t get him off.
You wanted to write something down but it took you at least 5 seconds to form each letter. You can see the letter in your head, but your hand will not go in the right direction to write it.
You had to pull the car over 3 times on the ride here because the motion makes you sick.
These examples may sound extreme but for some with sensory processing disorders they are not.
At least as adults we have grown to understand ourselves and our bodies. We know what we can and can not tolerate, what does or does not feel good and most importantly, we have the coping skills and problem solving abilities to deal with it the best we know how. These children do not!
Unless WE understand what is going on, help THEM understand their own bodies and minds, get them the right treatment and help them find the coping skills and insight, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO SUFFER INTO ADULTHOOD.
Sensory processing disorders are best treated if caught before the age of7 when the nervous system is still malleable.
It is imperative we identify and treat these children as early as possible so we can make a positive difference and get to them before…
learning is too difficult
self-esteem has suffered too much
relationships never fully develop
and they begin to isolate themselves into their own little safe and protective world.

Obtained from: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorders.html

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Identity

papajoemc — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 16:50:21 +0000

I was thinking about my identity last night while driving the Dunkin’ Donuts truck. Who am I and what is important to me?

I know that first and foremost I am a child of God. God’s love in my life is evident and I would never change that.

I know that I am a husband and a father. I have two great kids who make me smile and laugh everyday. They can instantly change my mood and I am grateful for that. I also have a loving, beautiful supportive wife. I don’t know how I would of made it through seminary without her.

But after that what is there? What shapes me and keeps me going? What do I do during my “free time” — I look around and see people with these hobbies that they support and that they take time out for and it has been awhile since I have done that. I was talking with a friend the other day who asked me how my guitar playing was going. I can’t really say the last time I played guitar for “fun.” It is always church related. Part of that is my fault and part of that is life.

I think what brought this up was the fact that I was out at 1am driving the Dunkin Donuts truck. “Why am I still doing this?” I was asking myself. I belong to this great company called Shaklee, and we have started a home business from Shaklee. Our hope is to one day earn enough with it where Katie can stay home with the kids and maybe one day I would go to part time ministry, or we can travel and just have fun for awhile, between calls (I don’t think I could ever give up ministry totally). Until then Shaklee is keeping us healthy and happy. But instead of putting time and energy into that I am driving a truck at 1am doing something that I totally don’t like but having some extra money is good.

I would love to have Shaklee be a major part of our identity and I need to this week (among the other hundred things I need to do, thank God I don’t have class) is to figure out my priorities and I need to align them to come to a solid understanding of my identity and live that out in my daily life.

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Cheating

papajoemc — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 20:00:10 +0000

I can’t keep my silence any longer. Given that football is my favorite sport and that the Patriots are my favorite team I can’t keep my silence about the events that happened the past week.
For those of you who do not follow sports – A week ago Sunday when the Patriots were playing the New York Jets, one of the security officers caught an employee for the New England Patriots video taping on of the defensive coaches giving hand signals to the players. His goal was to capture this video for further review so in future competitions between the two teams the Patriots would know the hand signals and know what the defense would be. This would give them a competitive advantage.

Roger Goodel reviewed the tape and a fine was given to Bill Belichick ($500,000.00) the New England Patriots ($250,000.00) and they lose a first round draft pick.

Given all of this for a tape that is pretty harsh and there have been mixed reviews about it. I don’t know about you but all this for a tape? Now this would be considered cheating, and that is wrong, so I am not saying they should not be punished but in this case I believe the punishment deserves the crime.

Now, after this came out there have been “reports” that the Packers and the Lions caught the Patriots doing this last year and they did not do anything about it. There are people saying that the Patriots have done this and have done that and that there should be an * next to the Super Bowl wins!!! That is CRAZY!!!! Now I have lost some faith in the team because of all of this. I have seen the Patriots the last few years at the best team in the league no matter what their record. They have been able to take “troubled” players and they have been able to “rehab” their careers. They have had more wins in the last 5 or 6 years than any other team. They use their salary cap wisely so they can have a big year getting all these high-class free agents. But now this kind of changes everything. There is a little doubt deep within side me that maybe they have won a few games here and there because of the taping, but nothing I would admit in person.

I think though if they had the number on different teams, why would they be up more than 20 points in last years AFC championship game and then lose it? I believe you can have all the right calls and you can make the right predictions but you need the players to pull it off. That’s what I believe separates the Patriots from other teams. I am 100% positive that the players had no idea this was going on, so why punish them? It is their coach who screwed up and he is getting punished from it. Why punish the whole team by suspending him or making the team lose the game?

This trickles down for me to my own life and what I am teaching my son. He is just starting to learn how to play games. There is a part of me who wants to sick by the rules so he learns what is fair and what is not fair. But when we play goldfish he does not care if we keep going until we run out of card because then “WE BOTH WIN” Am I teaching him wrong? Should I stick by the rules? Or is it better at this point to just play the game and have fun with him? In the long run will one damage him and the other make him shine? I really don’t know to be honest.

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Another Semester

papajoemc — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:39:56 +0000

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Joe’s Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

25% Yankee

5% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofamericanenglishdoyouspeakquiz/

Are You Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

You Are Rock
Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.
People know they can’t push you around, and they respect that.
Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.
You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

You don’t mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

If someone makes you mad: You’re likely to throw something at them

http://www.blogthings.com/areyourockpaperorscissorsquiz/

Man, I can’t believe that it has been so long since I last blogged. I guess with everything going on I have not honestly had time. Maybe that’s a good thing, but there is stuff that always goes on and I think I should blog about it. But with two kids, 20 hours of work a week, volunteering at the YMCA oh yea and full time graduate school life does get to me every once and awhile.

I want to thank Johnna for the first quiz. I thought my out come was interesting. I am a general American who is from the northeast and I spent some time in the Midwest. That’s exactly who I am and that is pretty cool that is shown.
The second quiz I thought was interesting. It is only three or four questions. I am not sure that I am a “rock” at least in the sense that they describe. I could be wrong and just not know it. It might be the best one out of the three I don’t know.

I get to “rest” a bit today, I don’t have classes but I do have Logan with me. Last year during internship I was able to spend the whole day with him on my day off. It was great. We would go to the YMCA and swim and then get pizza for lunch and come home for a nap. Sometimes I slept and sometimes I would get up and get stuff done around the house. Today I had to take him to therapy. It was fun, and then we went to the YMCA for a swim and we just finished lunch. Now it is naptime. I would not mind doing it more often but I did have to miss a meeting at work and I do have lots of reading to do. But every once and a while would be great.

Classes are pretty cool this semester. I actually like them all (even pastor as theologian at this point). I am excited to learn more about baptism, and I am enjoying my relationship, marriage and family class and the other two are my own independent research. One is my independent study on prison ministry where I will be doing three case studies this semester and then a final paper. And I will be doing research on suburban and urban partner churches. I think that will be good since it is corresponding with my internship project from last year. But I think I might want to do something with urban churches and issues around supporting at risk youth to enter into prison and aftercare programs. But we will see, I have until Tuesday to decide.

Okay off for a nap with my son……

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