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Archive - November, 2007
What is Calumet?
Calumet is a Lutheran camp in Freedom, NH. It is a big part of my life and my call to ministry. I will write more about it as I proceed.
Thanksgiving
Our Thanksgiving vacation started a little early this year. Instead of leaving with the other Thanksgiving travelers this past Wednesday we left on Monday because my wife’s nana was not doing so well health wise. We came to Vermont to my parent’s house and then Tuesday we traveled three hours to the hospital where her nana was. We were not able to talk with her at all and if we went in her room we would have to put on a gown, mask, and a hair net. It was an emotional time, but she is stable (last we heard) and improving. During my son’s first Christmas we thought it would be the last Christmas he was able to share with her, but now he is almost four and she is still around. We have been thankful for that.
My back is still hurting me. I managed getting through Thanksgiving — it is a good thing that all I have had to do the last three days is to sit down and rest and relax.
Friday I got a therapeutic massage and I went to see the chiropractor. I honestly can say that I felt worse after each appointment. But today I am feeling a little better. I just want this to be over with and I know that it will be, eventually. But for not I just have to do my best to live my life with this pain. The end of the semester is coming fast. I still need to fill out my paperwork for the first call process. I hope that I will not be too stressed and that I can find time to relax in the midst of everything.
I have been thankful for many things this year. I know that there are “problems” in my life (my back and illness in family) but we have been blessed by many people and we are thankful for those relationships. I have been thankful for my new blog and the friends that I have made through here as well.
Sunday Storytime
Great things to think about. I do not have any authorship. If you know who they belong too let me know.
Self- Affirmations
I belive I am
A unique and precious human being.
My own best friend and my own worst enemy.
A loveable and Loving person.
Capable of realizing my potential.
Self-Respecting.
Responsible for my own behavior.
Learning from my mistakes.
Creating a joyful life.
An important part of the universe.
God’s Rainbow
The falling rain dissolves into mist
And the thunder begins to die
As the sporadic lightning fades
An arch of colors pours from the sky
Rainbows appear after mighty storms
When things look their worst
Just when the skies are darkest grey
Out of heaven does the rainbow burst
God first sent the rainbow to Noah
As a sign that His word is true
The rainbow’s eternal message
Still speaks to me and you
The rainbow is a sign of God’s promise
That he will guide us through any storm
No matter what their form
When you feel battered by life’s storms
And you are filled with doubt and dismay
Just remember God’s rainbow is coming
For its blessing you have only to pray
Rain
I feel as though the rain is appropriate for me right now. I am pretty excited about it actually. First it means that there is no snow yet. As much as I enjoy the cooler weather, I hate to see fall go. I enjoy weather that is not too hot or too cold. But after the fall that we have had as a family I feel that the rain is washing everything away and that things are really going to turn around.
I am going to try and stay positive right now. I will not go into depth about the fact that my back is still really hurting and the stupid seminary insurance will not cover the physical therapy that I need. Or the fact that I need another $400.00 to fix all the problems (well at least two major problems) in our van. I won’t go into all of that…..
I will say that I had a WONDERFUL conversation with a bishop that was visiting the seminary’s campus. I am SO glad that it happened and I am feeling more comfort then ever before about this whole first call process. I have had a lot of people ask me what the first call process is all about and I will write something up and post it on here for those who do not completely understand it but for now it is just a long drawn out process. There are lots of interviews, and paper work that will be submitted to people who really don’t know you who will decide your life for the next 3-5 years (at least).
Anyway, my wife and I have been going back and forth about this process because we would like to move back closer to friends and family but we have little power in that decision and the place we would like to go too is in high demand. So that makes us worried. But the bishop of this synod was on campus and we had a great conversation. I felt positive going out of it and I know now that she at least knows alittle about me and my strengths. She knows the passion I have for her synod and she knows that we have family there and that I am willing to serve in any situation. I think one of the positive aspects about the last 7 years or so of my life is that I have been in rural, suburban and urban settings and I feel prepared to serve in any setting. I admit I have more of a passion for urban ministry but if I want to get into that down the road when I have more “power” as to choose where I want to go then I can get into that, but for now we want to be closer to family.
I told her that I just did not want to be a name on a piece of paper. I wanted her to know me just a little bit before she had to make choices and she appreciated that.
So once I finish my paper work I will feel that I have done all I can do to “direct” my future. I will feel totally comfortable putting everything into God’s Hands. I will be okay with whatever decision comes from it because I will know that I have done what I can and there was nothing more that I could do to help things along. I will know that where we end up is where God wants us to go. It is weird being in this spot because I have been dreading this process for so long.
So that was this past week — looking ahead I have one more class until thanksgiving break. I am excited for break even though I have alot to do. I do not want to get caught in a few weeks with too much work where I will be overwhelmed. Most of my classes this semester have had very little work to turn in on a regular basis. Most of the work that I will be graded on is a final paper at the end of the semester. I have been doing well about keeping up with the readings but for me — I need alittle extra time to process information and formulate my thoughts into coherent papers. So I will be trying to get a jump-start on these papers so I can really hand in quality work. It would be terrible to hand in something, which is 90% of my grade that is crap.
Last but not least I will leave you will a cartoon that I drew for the seminary’s student newsletter. I really like the concept and I will try and keep it up for the remainder of the year. I call it “Ian the Inturn” — it is the funny adventures of Ian as he makes his way through the year at Hope Lutheran Church. If you have any funny adventures that Ian can get into please let me know.
10 Random Things about me
I was tagged by Eric over at The Heart of the Pastor to share 10 random things about myself. Without further adieu here it goes:
1) I have the ability to play seven different instruments: Tuba, guitar, piano, harmonica, trombone, trumpet, and euphonium. I currently maintain proficiency on my guitar.
2) I once drove from my college In Iowa (Luther College) to my parents house in Vermont only stopping for gas, food and three 30 min “naps.” I think it took me between 24-26 hours
3) I am currently typing this from a Mac powerbook G4 and I love it. I will never buy another PC again. Once you go Mac you never go back.
4) I am Caffeine Sensitive – I usually tell people that I am “allergic” to caffeine because it makes more sense. Basically if I have any sort of caffeine my digestive system goes out of whack, my stomach makes noises and I feel sick. (yes even chocolate)
5) I have never been a good student but in seminary I currently maintain a B to B+ average and that’s the best in my entire academic career.
6) I started working when I was 10 years old as a paperboy for the Rutland Herald. I have maintained at least part time employment since then even through college and seminary.
7) One good friend convinced me that every man needs a drink they can have in a martini glass. My favorite is a Sidecar.
8 ) I am an Eagle Scout and I went to the National Scouting Jamboree at Fort AP Hill VA in 1993.
9) I love football – instead of playing football in college I chose music. My senior year of high school my football coach told me I had the skill to be the best defensive lineman in the state of Vermont. My problem was that I was not “dedicated” (Instead I spent my summers at a Church Camp and I was in the band and other activities)
10) I love everything that has to do with The Simpsons and I have to admit my son loves them too. Daily we catch an episode before dinner.
Now I have to tag some people. I would like to tag Nathan at PhilosYphia and revhrod.
What my son feels
My son has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing (Integration) Disorder. This is the best description of what someone with this disorder goes through.
Sensory Processing Disorders:
Through The Eyes Of Dysfunction
Have you ever wondered what children or adults with sensory processing disorders feel like, or have to deal with? I certainly have.
Now I would like to give you the opportunity to see SPD “through the eyes of dysfunction”. This can, in turn, lead to acceptance, understanding, and avoidance of blame and judgment.
Please open your hearts and minds to the struggles individuals with sensory processing disorders go through on a daily basis.
We can see the behavioral signs of distress with too much input, or the energy of not enough input. But, what does the child/adult REALLY go through while trying to take in and effectively process the bombardment of daily sensory input?
Stanley Greenspan, the author of “The Challenging Child” (1995) has an insightful analogy to help us understand what people experience when they can not effectively process, or interpret, sensory input.
He describes it this way:
“Imagine driving a car that isn’t working well. When you step on the gas the car sometimes lurches forward and sometimes doesn’t respond. When you blow the horn it sounds blaring. The brakes sometimes slow the car, but not always. The blinkers work occasionally, the steering is erratic, and the speedometer is inaccurate. You are engaged in a constant struggle to keep the car on the road, and it is difficult to concentrate on anything else.”
It’s NO WONDER children with sensory processing disorders feel out of control, exhibit a whole host of behaviors, and have difficulty concentrating and focusing at school!
Now, also imagine being a parent of one of these children. Many parents have expressed how exhausted, rejected, lost, incompetent and alone they feel in trying to live with, and understand, their child.
I challenge you to remember this beautifully painful quote the next time you encounter a child with sensory processing disorders and begin the process of awareness, understanding, and treatment to help them take control of their bodies, minds and self-esteem.
It is so very difficult for them. Let’s acknowledge that and do our best to understand and help them!
Let me put this another way for you, from an adult perspective.
I once did a presentation in a conference room full of adults that worked in day care and preschool settings. I wanted them to relate to and understand the children they saw in their classrooms that struggled with sensory processing disorders.
I explained it to them this way…
Imagine if:
You could see obstacles in your way, but you could not make your body move the direction you wanted it to avoid them.
You felt like someone had given you a shot of Novocain in your backside so you couldn’t feel if you were sitting in the middle of your chair and you fell off 3 times during this training.
Your clothes felt like they were made of fiberglass.
You tried to drink a cup of water from a paper cup, only you couldn’t tell how hard to squeeze it to hold onto it. So, you squeezed it too hard and the water spilled all over you. The next time you didn’t squeeze it hard enough and it fell right through your hands and onto the floor.
Every time you tried to write with your pencil, it broke because you pushed too hard.
The different smells in this room made you utterly nauseous.
The humming of the lights sounded louder than my voice.
You couldn’t focus your eyes on me because everything and everyone in the room catches your attention and your eyes just go there instead.
The lights are so bright you have to squint, and then you get a pounding headache half way through the presentation
Every time someone touches you, it feels like they are rubbing sandpaper on your skin.
You could only sit here for 15 minutes and then you had to take a run around the building or do 20 jumping jacks so you could sit for another 10 minutes before your muscles felt like they were going to jump out of your skin.
People’s whispers sounded like they were yelling.
The tag in the back of your shirt makes you feel as uncomfortable as you would if a spider was crawling on you and you couldn’t get him off.
You wanted to write something down but it took you at least 5 seconds to form each letter. You can see the letter in your head, but your hand will not go in the right direction to write it.
You had to pull the car over 3 times on the ride here because the motion makes you sick.
These examples may sound extreme but for some with sensory processing disorders they are not.
At least as adults we have grown to understand ourselves and our bodies. We know what we can and can not tolerate, what does or does not feel good and most importantly, we have the coping skills and problem solving abilities to deal with it the best we know how. These children do not!
Unless WE understand what is going on, help THEM understand their own bodies and minds, get them the right treatment and help them find the coping skills and insight, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO SUFFER INTO ADULTHOOD.
Sensory processing disorders are best treated if caught before the age of7 when the nervous system is still malleable.
It is imperative we identify and treat these children as early as possible so we can make a positive difference and get to them before…
learning is too difficult
self-esteem has suffered too much
relationships never fully develop
and they begin to isolate themselves into their own little safe and protective world.
Obtained from: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorders.html
Life…..
Parts of my life the last week…….
Beware- there is some venting with scattered thoughts, I don’t have enough energy to really get too deep. But I need to process and this is me process some of the “bigger” things in my life right now.
I feel like I have not really done much the past week. Ever since last Wednesday my back has been bothering me….again….
I blame it on driving for Dunkin’ Donuts, the fact of the matter is that I have had this constant pain since I have been driving the truck back in August. I have not diven since Friday and I am feeling ALITTLE better. It has been so bad that I have had trouble walking. Just tonight it has been a sharp/dull pain. I don’t know if that makes sense…..
So I went up to D&D to talk with the owner about quitting, but I could not bring myself to do it. I am off between now and when we get back from our Thanksgiving excursion. Between now and then I will be at the doctors and physical therapists to see what I can do to get better.
I have already been told there is a compression in my lower spine. I just need to know what to do in order to either reverse it or stop it from happening even further.
So besides resting my back I have been reading alot for my classes, writing papers and whatnot. I have been trying to force myself to do some things that I need to do in my “regular” life but that has been few and far between.
I just question why it is hard for me to quit a job I really don’t like. Sure the extra money is nice and it helps out alot, but I know my health is more important, but I think I don’t wnat to disappoint people. And I need to get over that.
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In other news I have added some stuff to my blog, so let me know what you think. I have been debating if I should stay with WordPress or go back to Blogger. Most of the blogs I read are done through blogger and I once had an account there. I still have an open account but I don’t use it at all. I debated going back. There are certain things that I would like to add on my blog that I have seen on others. But there are some things I have put on that I really like so for now I will stay here. Down the road I would love to have my own domain name with my blog. I would like to add podcasts of sermons and have a few pages in which I just have fun with. But for now this will do.
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Let me tell you I hate cars — we have had both go to crap on us the last two weeks…….one “new” car later and the other with a new radiator we are on the road again.
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I think one of the things that has been on my mind lately is the event that occured almost a year ago. Around this time (at the end of November) one of the first graders at my internship died. It was a girl that I worked with at the after school program. I have been thinking about her and about what happened because I wrote it up as a case study for one of my classes. I will be working through it with some classmates. It was a really hard thing for me to go through, especially so because the parents asked me to preach at her funeral. Now this was my first funeral sermon ever, and it was for someone who I really cared about and who went home to God alittle earlier than most of us would want.
I have been thinking about her because of all saints day this past week. I think deep down I was avoiding worship some because I don’t know how to handle it. I have been keeping some of my emotions inside — it is really hard to think about sometimes.
Then, once your mind goes down that road it is hard to control. During intership our sexton died while working on the job, I was one of the last ones who talked with him. We were moving picnic tables and then I went to do a home communion visit and then I had a lunch meeting. I was going to go back and see if he needed anything else — but I did not and I felt guilty that I could of done something to help him…..for a few weeks after I had trouble eating and I was trying to work through a lot, and being at the end of my internship I was trying to get things done for that as well……ahhh life.
If I make it through this process I will be amazed.
that’s what all saints day was for me this year – to think about two very special saints that will have a special place in my heart.
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